By Kent Kimes
Editor

There are a million things to do in Myrtle Beach and the surrounding areas during Cruisin' to the Coast, spring's massive motorcycle rally - which begins Friday, in case your head's been stuck in your carburetor.

There's so much going on you can't possibly see and do it all, even for the most ambitious of bikers, partiers, locals and/or voyeurs.

So, Surge has narrowed it down for you with a look at the next few days of rolling thunder that's as easy as 1-2-3, check that, A, B, C.

Without further adieu, here is Surge's glance at Bike Week from A-to-Z - 26 alphabet-based info-nuggets to get your motor running.

A - A is for awesome air guitar. There'll be an Air Guitar Contest, with more than $500 in prizes for the best faux shredder, starting at 9:30 p.m. Saturday at The Clubhouse Myrtle Beach (formerly Marti's and formerly, formerly B&M Roadhouse), 510 N. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach. There is no cover charge. Call 626-9058.

B - B is for boobs, as in Boxing for Boobs, the annual female slugfest May 15 at Club Kryptonite featuring 16 ladies squaring off in the square circle for the ultimate prize: free breast-enhancement surgery. Club Kryptonite is at 2925 Hollywood Drive, Myrtle Beach, next to Planet Hollywood. Admission is $15 in advance, $20 at the door, and there's also ringside seating for $30. For more information, call 839-9200 or visit www.club-kryptonite.com or www.myspace.com/clubkryptonite.

C - C is for Confederate Railroad, the country/rock outfit performing Wednesday at The Doghouse North, 9814 N. Kings Highway, in the Restaurant Row section of Myrtle Beach. Call 692-9663 or go to www.thedoghousebar.com or www.myspace.com/thedoghousebar.

D - D is for Dixie Dream Dancers, who kick up their heels at 2:05 p.m. May 16 and May 17 at the Jamin' Leather Stage at Jamin' Town, 802 U.S. 17 Business S., Surfside Beach. No cover. Call 839-5255 or visit www.jaminleather.com or www.dixiedreamdancers.com.

E - E is for Big E. Make sure you check out "Ridin' With Big E,'' our column written by resident biker Eric "Big E'' Rutherford on page 23, and tune in next week for another mid-rally edition of his column.

F - F is for free. Yes, you can get stuff for free, including free coffee and donuts from 7 a.m.-2 a.m. every day during the rally at Heads Up Tail Down Sports Bar & Grill, 4735 S. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach.

G - G is for girls, girls, girls, including the Wild Turkey Girls, who will appear from 9-11 p.m.Wednesday at WIMPY'S, 4711 S. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach; the Bud Girls from 5-7 p.m. Wednesday at MURPHY'S LAW SOUTH, 2869 U.S. 17 Business S., Garden City Beach; and Crown Royal Girls at 6 p.m. on May 15 at SBB ORIGINAL, 3393 U.S. 17 Business, Murrells Inlet.

H - H is for H.B. Spokes, the north Strand biker bar that burned to the ground but has been rebuilt in time for the spring rally. See sidebar on page 22 for more details about this biker hangout/venue, which among other things has hosted concerts by notable musical acts, including hot country duo Sugarland.

I - I is for ink. Body ink, that is. See who's body ink rocks, and who's sucks, as Surfside Live, 803 U.S. 17 S., Surfside Beach, hosts a Best Tattoo Contest at 11 p.m. Friday, followed by a Worst Tattoo Contest at 11:30 p.m. No cover. Call 238-8507.

J - J is for Jackyl, the chainsaw-wielding hard rock band ("Lumberjack" and "Down On Me") making another rally appearance, along with the Georgia Satellites ("Keep Your Hands to Yourself") at the House of Blues, Barefoot Landing, 4640 U.S. 17 S., North Myrtle Beach, at 8 p.m. May 17. Tickets are $20-$22. Call 272-3000 or visit www.hob.com.

K - K is for Keira. That's Keira Riley, Miss Nude World '08, who makes various appearances along the Grand Strand during the rally, including from 10 p.m.-2 a.m. Wednesday at CENTERFOLDS, 716 Seaboard St., Myrtle Beach. Call 916-8580.

L - L is for Little River, site of the 27th annual Blue Crab Festival set for May 17-19 on the fishing village's waterfront, featuring bounties of seafood, live entertainment, arts and crafts and kid-friendly fare. Go to www.bluecrabfestival.org.

M - M is for Mini Kiss. Yes original Kiss guitarist Ace Frehley is performing May 16 at the House of Blues, but why not go see his Mini-Me, as well? Mini Kiss, a tribute to the Ace, Gene, Paul and Peter featuring little people, will ``Rock and Roll All Nite'' at 8:30 p.m. May 15 and May 16 at The Tiki @ The Afterdeck, 9717 N. Kings Highway (Restaurant Row), Myrtle Beach. Advance tickets are $5 (www.etix.com); tickets at the door are $10. Call 449-1550.

N - N is for Nuttin'. Come on, we are good for somethin', for example, telling you about Nuttin' Butt Horseplay, 3251 U.S. 501, Myrtle Beach, which hosts a Badd Kitty Bike Wash from 4-6 p.m. on May 18. There's no cover charge. Call 236-2691.

0 - O is for the Big O (and we don't mean Oprah). There's a Screaming "O" Contest set for 9:30 p.m. on May 15 at Mac's Pizza and Pub, 3010 U.S. 17 Business S., Murrells Inlet. The best screamer can pocket $100. No cover charge. Call 651-4050.

P - P is for Popsicle. In true bike rally fashion, there's a $100 Popsicle Sucking Contest set for 10-10:30 p.m. May 17 at Mac's Pizza & Pub, 3010 U.S. 17 Business, Murrells Inlet. Call 651-4050.

Q - Q is for barbeque, more specifically free BBQ at Scotty's Beach Bar, 111 S. Seaside Drive, Surfside Beach, from 4-6 p.m. May 16. Call 238-9363.

R - R is for Ratt 'n' Retro. Stephen Pearcy, erstwhile lead singer of pop-metal outfit Ratt, makes a solo appearance at 6:30 p.m. Wednesday at Celebrity Square at Broadway at the Beach for an event that's also a celebration of novelty store Retro Active's third anniversary. The best part: it's free. Expect Pearcy to go "Round and Round'' with the crowd. Call 444-3200 or visit www.BroadwayattheBeach.com.

S - S is for suicide. No, we're not suggesting you kill yourself, but check out biker/comedian "Suicide'' Jimmy Mattieu as he attempts to slay the crowds at Comedy Cabana at 8 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday. Admission is $15. Comedy Cabana is at 9588 N. Kings Highway (Restaurant Row), Myrtle Beach. Call 449-4242 or visit www.comedycabana.com.

T - T is for "Trick My Truck." Cast members from "Trick My Truck'' - CMT's version of "Pimp My Ride'' - will be on hand at from 10 a.m. to midnight daily during the rally, starting Friday, at THE RAT HOLE, 3833 Socastee Blvd., Myrtle Beach. There is no cover charge. Call 293-0515.

U - U is for Universal Studios Tour. That's one of the prizes you can win if you donate blood during American Red Cross blood drives from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday and again 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on May 17 at Jamin' Town, 802 U.S. 17 Business S., Surfside Beach. Call 839-5255 or visit www.jaminleather.com.

V - V is for Volunteer Jam. Charlie Daniels Band's annual Volunteer Jam, which also features fellow southern rockers .38 Special and Shooter Jennings (Waylon's boy), invades Hard Rock Park's new amphitheater at 7 p.m. on May 16. You have to purchase park admission ($50 plus $10 for parking) to get into the show. Hard Rock Park is at 211 George Bishop Parkway, Myrtle Beach. Call 236-ROCK or visit www.hardrockpark.com.

W - W is for wings, hot wings, really hot, burn-your-ass-up wings. If you've got an iron gut, see what you're made of and belly up for a Hot Wing Eating Contest from 1-1:30 p.m. Wednesday at the Doghouse South Bar & Grill, 607 S. Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach. The prize is $200. Call 448-2663.

X - X is for eXotic toy, lingerie and lotion party scheduled for 9-10 p.m. Tuesday at Heads Up Tails Down Sports Bar & Grill, 4735 Kings Highway, Myrtle Beach. Call 828-4180.

Y - Y is for the Young brothers, Angus and Malcolm, whose axe-work will be honored by AC/DC tribute act Highway To Hell with performances at 9 p.m.-1 a.m. May 15 and May 16 and 4-8 p.m. May 17 on SBB Four Corners' main stage. There is no cover charge. SBB Four Corners is at 11980 U.S. 17 Bypass, Murrells Inlet. For more info, go to www.suckbangblowonline.com.

Z- Z is for Zoso, a Led Zeppelin tribute band performing a free concert Saturday at House of Blues in North Myrtle Beach. That's right, you'll spend "No Quarter'' to get in. Call 272-3000 or visit www.hob.com.